Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Off To The Races by Ed

This blog is by Ed edited somewhat by me.

I am not an Indy or Nascar fan.  I just never have had any desire to watch a bunch of cars go around in a circle.  However,  I did once go to a mud bog with monster trucks, which I did enjoy.  So when my 2 brother-in-laws went to the New Paris Speedway here in Northern Indiana I didn't have any desire to go.

Ron kept telling me how much he enjoyed it, so after a period of time I decided to go to check it out.  So we decided to go the next Sat. night.  Well Ron ended up not going but I did go with my other brother-in-law, Dave.  Dave use to be a stock car racer and really enjoys the races.

Dave said we had to leave early to get a good spot.  It was suppose to start at 7 o'clock, so we got there at 5 and nothing started until 8.  By the time the water truck went around the track the people started cheering.   This was one time I really regretted not taking my camera. 

I have never seen so many rednecks in one place in a long time.  I had to keep reminding myself I wasn't in Kentucky or West Virginia or any other southern state.  (For those of you who don't know, I am from West Virginia.  Thus I know a red neck when I see one, because I am one.)

One of the cars had a big flag pole out the back with a confederate flag.  Am I still in Indiana?

Dave says New Paris is different than any other track.  It is half bleachers and the other half is for cars, trucks, buses, vans, motor homes and tents.  They are as close to the fence as they can get.  Quite a circus of people.  Dave and I took lawn chairs and we had out feet resting on the crash wall.  That's how close we were to the action.

First came the trailer parade.  My best trailer was a 55 gal. steel drum with handle bars, seat and a diesel exhaust pipe with a hefty woman in it  attached to a boat trailer.  She had her hand in the air, hollering "Yee Ha".  She was having a good time (different to say the least). 

Next, was the spin out.  Each car spun its wheels seeing who could make the most smoke.  That was lame.

Then there was the mattress race.  In this race you had to hold a mattress on top of your car.  If the mattress fell off, you were out of the race.  Different, but also lame.

Another race was called the train race.  They took 2 cars and hooked a trailer in the middle and this is called a train.  They race around until they wreck, which they did.

By this time we are asking each other when are the races going to start.  Unknown to us the whole night was events of this nature.

We are sitting there with our feet resting on the wall pretty much bored with the whole thing.  We see a vehicle coming at us and it hits the wall where our feet are resting.  Glass shatters out of the van and of course we get sprayed with the glass.  It hit us like a shot gun blast.  Very intense.  I was so shocked, I turned to Dave to say wow and there was no Dave.  He must have taken more of the force.  It knocked him almost 3 feet back and on his back.  I am bleeding on my arm and face.  People behind us got some but I think we got the worse of it. 

There were women coming from everywhere to administer first aid to us.  One woman kept dabbing at me with a Kleenex and I am getting aggravated because I am trying to watch the rest of the race.

Dave has 3 women looking after him.  I told him he missed out on a great opportunity to get mouth to mouth from that good looking blond.  He was so dazed he didn't even remember the women.  You have this tall good looking blond with a beer in one hand and her other arm around Dave saying I will take care of you honey.  I had to laugh.

There were 4 more races.   We decided we had enough and went home.

Walking to the car, I  had glass in my drink, in my ears, in my shoes, down my shirt and a big chuck in my crack.  I had to stop and get that one out.

It was a good thing we had glasses on.  Mine have about 7 pits in them from the glass.

This was my night at the races.  Dave says, "I wasn't enjoying the races until I almost got killed."  I have to say that part was exciting.

This is a simulated picture of what I looked like when I got home.

Happy Trails.    Ed